If you are part of a bomb squad in Germany, you already have a difficult job. It’s a pretty common problem for bomb squads to unearth old War War II weapons and have to stabilize them. What’s less common is having a grenade be confused with a sex toy but that’s just what happened recently.

According to ABC News, a jogger called the bomb squad Tuesday (4/27/21) after she claimed to see a grenade in a Bavarian forest.  Soon after the “squad” arrived they determined the grenade was not a grenade at all, instead a rubber sex toy in the shape of a grenade with the USB charger left close by.

BTW, Amazon sells them.

It’s actually called: “Vibration Grenade Shape Vibrator.” The brand name is Lovey Dog. 

You have bomb personnel sweating in a helmets, full team, being as careful as a humans can be, investigating an explosive device and this is the result. How mad was the person that figured it out.

Team member 1 – “OK, be careful”

Team member 2 – “I am, (breathing sounds)……….. Tell Karen and the kids I love them if I don’t make it home today. 

Team member 1 – “You can tell them yourself when you get home tonight.”

Team member 2 – “Wait a second, “

Team member 1 – “What is it?”

Team member 2 – “Son of a bitch!!!!!!”

Team member 1 – “What!?”

Team member 2 – “It’s a d—!!!!!!!!!” (throws it in frustration). 

END SCENE 

I have a cinematic mind, and inside are hilarious movies about dildos being hurled into the woods out of frustration.

  • Best marketing slogans for this product:
  • The Vibration Grenade, it’s explosive 
  • The Vibration Grenade, take cover or don’t
  • The Vibration Grenade, fire in the hole!! All of them
  • The Vibration Grenade, so real, they’ll call the bomb squad
  • Vibration Grenade, Kendall Jenner loves it. 

Stay safe out there kids, there are used sex toys everywhere and I’m not exaggerating. Don’t you remember the time I located a sex toy on top of a garbage can, in front of a 7/11 in Danbury? Yes, that happened.

Lou Milano

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